Thirteen years ago, I worked in Belgrade and for those times, I had a relatively good salary. It’s not that I was overjoyed, it could have been much better, because for God’s sake – when can’t it?!, but I couldn’t complain.
Quite spontaneously, a check-up visit to the dentist brought up a painful topic from my teenage days. The question arose as to whether it could be better and, lo and behold, dental techniques have developed so much that it was simply unacceptable not to do it: fix the condition that was bothering me with the bad appearance and quality of my teeth.
Everything clicked: the doctor who was exactly what I needed, the speed of work, the quality expected. Until the financial moment. Not that it was anything too sacred, but I didn’t have that money at the time. 2500 euros.
I thought for a while and decided to ask one or two people to lend me a loan.
The ex-boyfriend got away gracefully with obligations to the family, and blah blah blah excuses.
Another person, a friend and VERY well-to-do businessman, responded to my question by asking, “So, when are you going to pay me back?“
I felt anger, disappointment and humiliation.
Not that everyone should lend me money, but at least a little style was expected.
Completely revolted but firmly resolved in my decision, I went to the bank and took out a loan.
It didn’t take God knows how long the money was in my account.
Despite my attitude, “Never borrow from the bank, spend what you have” – that step turned out to be easy and stress-free. On top of that, the people from the bank were happy and grateful because I decided to take that step and always greeted me with a big smile.
I thought for a long time about my friend’s actions. For a while I didn’t even communicate with him because I was offended and hurt.
This morning, while I was waiting to hear from him, I remembered that situation.
It’s actually amazing what a favor he did me back then!
His refusal forced me to take care of the funds needed to realize one big wish myself.
To review attitudes that were not useful to me and to replace them with new ones.
To open myself up to new knowledge and possibilities.
To regain my shaken self-confidence and to take care of myself – the feeling that I can protect, preserve and guide myself through life and that I can provide for myself – is priceless.
It brought me the knowledge that a firm determination is needed to make one’s wishes come true. Maybe it won’t happen in the same way that I planned, but certainly in some of the adequate and maybe even better ones than predicted.
Not every NO is a punishment or prevention in intent.
Sometimes that ‘no’ requires additional creativity that gives us liveliness. At the same time, it is a test of how determined we are in our intention to implement something that has greater value for us and beauty.
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